


all in time

by ziri_unnie



Category: Eren/Levi - Fandom, Ereri - Fandom, Riren - Fandom, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Heartbreak, M/M, sad but i promise it ends happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-07-21
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:22:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25429843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ziri_unnie/pseuds/ziri_unnie
Summary: things were good, until Eren left. he thought he did the right thing, but now he isn't so sure anymore.
Relationships: Levi/Eren Yeager
Kudos: 41





	1. lost

“Eren…” he stirred at the sound of Christa’s voice. He lifted his head off his hands and looked around groggily at the dim coffee shop. Most of the bustle was gone, there were only two other customers aside from Eren and Christa.

“Shit, sorry. I didn’t mean to…” he stammered as he tried to reorganize the stack of papers and notebooks in front of him. There was a huge exam in a few days and he had been studying like a madman. School was never Eren’s strong suit. It didn’t help that every professor seemed to hold exams at the same time. Grad school was kicking his ass.

“No, Eren it’s okay. I just think you’re overworking yourself. Maybe you should head home and go to sleep. We can pick up again after Hansen’s lecture tomorrow.” Christa smiled reassuringly at him and gestured for him to pack up.

He sighed and began stuffing papers into his backpack.

It was already almost ten by the time he got home, dropping his backpack onto the floor by the front door. His roommate, Armin, looked up from the couch. “Hey, you okay?”

“Yeah, I just think my brian is gonna melt out of my head in the next week. I’m off to bed.” He gave a small wave before heading down the hall to his room. Flicking on the bedside lamp, he kicked off his shoes. The dim glow illuminated the art covering his walls, including lots of sketches and diagrams from school. He laid in bed and willed his mind to slow down.

He truly loved Anthropology. He was so fascinated in evolution and the ‘secrets’ about where humans came from. He enjoyed learning about every new discovery of every species before him. His room had renditions of what Homo Naledi might have looked like, diagrams of different species skulls. He had a bookshelf overflowing with books and thesis papers and articles. But even though it was everywhere, he was still able to tear his mind off of school and anthropology.

He sighed as he thought about how things used to be. Just three years ago, he was happy. In love with a beautiful man, finishing undergrad, planning a future together. But that was not now. That was back then.

Eren sighed as his chest tightened at the thought of where Levi might be now. Eren had ruined everything. He had a knack for that. He was applying for grad schools and going to interviews and all that. Levi had been offered a new job, but he was unsure about taking it. Because of Eren.

And he could never live with himself if he knew Levi had passed up this chance to work his dream job just so he could take care of Eren. He left that night, after they had talked about the job offer.

_“I don’t understand why you haven’t said yes already. This is what you always wanted. You told me when we first met that this was your dream. How can you be unsure?” Eren said as we looked at Levi across the table. His heart was pounding in his chest._

_“Because, Eren…. There are other things I have to think about, too.” Levi said, expression calculated. Eren was shocked at the coldness of his voice. Levi was holding everything back, hiding everything behind that blank expression and those steel eyes._

_“No. I can’t do this. I can’t ruin this for you. I-I just-” Eren said as his face heated up. He was trying hard not to cry. Not yet at least. He stood up quickly, chair scraping the floor harshly. He turned on his heel and left the restaurant. He heard Levi behind him, trying to get his attention. As soon as he was outside the door, he broke into a sprint._

_Running through the cold night, eyes burning as tears flowed. He heaved with silent sobs as his shoes slapped the pavement. He would never let himself be the reason Levi threw everything away._

It hurt Eren just as much as it did Levi, if not more. He had to give up everything because he would never forgive himself otherwise. And now, he wonders if he can forgive himself for making the choice he did. He still doesn’t know if he made the right one.

They say time heals all wounds but Eren had yet to experience any healing. If anything, he learned how to push it all down and out of mind. He learned to throw himself into his studies. He worked more hours than he’d like to admit in order to afford rent and books while he stumbled through grad school.

He pushed the memories out of his mind as he drifted off to sleep.

\--

Hansen’s lecture was dry, as usual, and Eren fought to stay awake. He worked that morning at the cafe, a cute little place on a corner. He took orders, served food and drinks, and occasionally worked the small bar on the weekends when people ordered mimosas and bloodys and whatnot. It was a cool place, known as a haven for the gays, trans people, and everyone who maybe felt they didn’t fit in elsewhere. He loved working there because he knew he was welcomed and it made him feel good to make other people feel a little at home at the cafe.

Once their lecture was over, Eren and Christa headed to a nearby library. They stopped at a coffee shop on their way to fuel up for another long study session. Christa’s girlfriend, Ymir, worked at the coffee shop and sometimes scored them free lattes. Eren liked Ymir. She was a no-bullshit kind of person. Levi was very much the same way, and Eren missed that blunt honesty.

“Good luck on your exam guys, and Christa, text me when you get home tonight and I can maybe swing by for a bit?” She handed Eren his latte as Christa blushed and stuttered something of a yes.

“How are you still so flustered? You guys have been together for so long.” Eren laughed as Christa rubbed the back of her neck. Ymir had a way of making Christa flustered easily. Christa was also always embarrassed at the subtle invitation for sex in front of someone like Eren. He knew that’s what Ymir meant by swing by later. And she had done this many times now, but still she consistently turned beet red when Ymir flirted while Eren was there.

Eren thought it was cute. A pang of jealousy hit him in the chest as he remembered what it was like when he tried to flirt with Levi.

The first time they had met was when Eren worked at a coffee shop in the summer. Levi came almost every morning before work. Eren was smitten fast, but he tried to hold off on the flirting until the man had been coming to the coffee shop for a while. He finally worked up the courage one morning to ask him out.

_“Here’s your latte, and uh…. Receipt.” He handed the receipt to the man, after writing his number and name on it. He tried, and failed, to keep a straight face and hide his nerves._

_The man accepted and headed towards the door. Eren was hoping he would see the number later, after he left so Eren wouldn’t have to face him in his embarrassment._

_Eren busied himself cleaning the espresso machine when he heard dress shoes clicking on the floor, getting closer._

_“Eren, huh?” The man said. His voice saying Eren’s name made his knees nearly go weak. Eren leaned on the counter to keep from collapsing into a puddle. He tried to make eye contact but he was too nervous and flustered._

_“Uh y-yeah…” He stuttered as we glanced up for a second. The man was looking at him with a blank expression. But his eyes, there was a glint to them that Eren had never seen before. After all these mornings taking his coffee order and making small talk. He had never seen that look in his eyes. He looked almost… amused?_

_“Levi. You’ve got guts. And I’d be lying if I said you weren’t adorable. But I don’t think this is gonna work out, kid. I’m a lot older than you think. Besides, you’d get bored pretty fast.” He said nonchalantly as he placed the receipt on the counter. He turned and left the shop and Eren willed his heart to slow down before it exploded._

_Days passed before Levi came in again. But when he did, Eren’s face lit up like it was Christmans morning. He played it cool, or so he thought. But he still tried to flirt every day Levi was in the coffee shop. After a couple weeks Levi came in and sighed at Eren._

_“Fine.” He said as he paid for his coffee._

_“What?” Eren said, confused._

_“You want a date? FIne. Just one, and I am in no way obligated to take you on another ever again.” He said. He smiled a little at Eren and the poor kid’s heart almost melted._

_“R-really?” He said and when Levi nodded he pumped his fists in the air and mouthed ‘yes!’. Levi just chuckled. He slid a piece of paper to Eren and swiftly left the shop._

_When he looked down at the paper Levi gave him, his eyes lit up. It was his number. Plus a note that said ‘good luck, kid’._

He was happy for Ymir and Christa. They were so happy together. He just wished he hadn’t ruined what he had with Levi.

After studying for what felt like hours, Eren and Christa agreed to meet up on Saturday to celebrate finishing the exam. It was on Friday morning and then Eren would be free to relax - well mostly work - and not worry about studying for a little while. He walked home alone that night from the library, trying not to wonder where Levi was now. He had never told Eren where the job was or much about it. But he knew it was the position Levi had been working towards for a long time.

Eren ended up moving away to go to graduate school. He ended up in Boston at a great school. He got lucky that he even got in. He couldn’t afford it here, but then again nobody really could. He liked the school and his professors. His thesis was coming along alright, too. He wondered where he might end up after he graduates. He wondered if he and Levi might end up in the same city again.

He needed to stop thinking only of the past. It only made him sad and his heart ached for the way Levi made him feel.

He got so lost in his thoughts he snapped back into reality only after slamming into someone and landing on his ass on the sidewalk.

“Sorry, that was my fault I totally wasn’t looking where I…” Eren looked up at the man standing over him. His heart stopped. “Holy shit.”

“Eren.” That voice was cold and held none of the warmth it used to. Eren wanted to sink into the ground and die right then. He felt his heart shatter into a million little pieces all over again at how hurt Levi sounded. But what shocked Eren more than anything was the fact that they were merely feet apart. What was Levi doing here?

He stood up quickly and tried to collect himself and when he couldn’t think of anything useful to say or do, he just sighed and looked at his shoes. “I should go. I’m sorry.”

He started walking away quickly and this time, Levi made no move to follow or try to stop him. That made Eren feel even worse.

Once he was home he tried to calm down and get some sleep before his exam. He couldn’t stop thinking about the way Levi sounded when he said his name. It was nothing like it used to be. He sounded so cold. It was like a stranger. Eren’s heart sank impossibly further as he cried softly into his pillow.

He woke to the sharp sound of his alarm. He groaned and sat up, rubbing the dried tears from his eyes. He must have cried himself to sleep last night. God, he was a mess.

He dressed and grabbed his stuff before heading off for his exam. He did his best to focus only on the paper in front of him and nothing else. He could worry about last night after the exam.

He walked down the street slowly, back to where he was last night when he bumped into Levi. He passed that spot and kept walking towards where Levi came from. He stopped once he reached a large and imposing office building. A law firm. Levi did a lot of the behind the scenes work. He was never one for the spotlight and he was great at organization. He must have gotten that job… here. Eren felt like a tiny weight had been lifted knowing Levi had taken that job. He knew Levi was successful and hopefully fulfilled in his career. It made him feel a little less bad. Only a little.

How they ended up in the same place was shocking to Eren and he wondered if this was really the job Levi was talking about. But he may never find out. He might never see Levi again. He shouldn’t. Levi deserved better. Levi deserved to move on and be happy. Eren was unsure if he would ever deserve the same himself.


	2. welcome home

Eren didn’t sleep much that night. After heading home from his exam and wandering around to find the law firm Levi now (probably) worked at, Eren ended up spending the rest of his day on the couch. He watched movies and ate snacks until Armin got home. 

But once he was alone in his dark room, his thoughts started to race. Levi’s eyes. The way his voice all but broke when he said Eren’s name. Eren hated himself for what he did to them both. But he knew Levi would have put himself last otherwise. And Eren never wanted that for him. 

He thought about texting Levi. Calling him maybe. He wondered what he would even say to him. He knew he didn’t deserve Levi to answer the call. He deserved nothing from Levi anymore. 

Days passed hazily while Eren tried to relax after his exam. He found Monday was already almost over, and he found himself sitting outside the law firm at 5 in the evening. He wasn’t sure why he was here. He didn’t know what he would even say if Levi walked out the door. He didn’t have a plan. He was beginning to regret the idea and change his mind when-

“Eren?” Levi was holding a leather briefcase and wearing dress pants and a button down, sleeves rolled up on those pale forearms. His tattoos peeking out from underneath. 

“I-I wanted to see you again. I wanted to .... say I’m sorry. And I know you don’t ever want to see me again and I fucked everything up and I hurt you and I won’t ever forgive myself for that but I-” Eren was interrupted and his gaze shot up from his shoes to those grey eyes. 

“Eren,” Levi sighed, a look of sadness in his eyes. Eren felt his heart sink even further. 

Eren couldn’t hold back any longer as a fat tear rolled down his cheek. His lip trembled and his shaky hands clasped together. 

“I know. I know I should go and I should never have come here and I promise you won’t ever see me around anymore-”

“Stop.” 

Eren was confused. He was so confused as to why he was still standing there. He felt like a stupid kid crying in front of the man he hurt so badly. Even if it was all Eren’s fault, it still hurt so bad. 

“Let’s go somewhere to talk.” his voice held that authoritative tone Levi had rarely used on him when they were together. Eren drew in a shaky breath and just nodded meekly. He followed Levi to his car, and hesitated with his hand on the passenger door. 

“It’s okay, I promise.” Levi said while swinging open his door and getting in. 

Eren tried to suppress the rising nerves as his body fell into fight or flight. He reluctantly got in. 

“Where are we going?” Eren asked, voice barely a whisper. He tried to ignore the way his voice broke and how shaky he sounded. 

“My place, well - new place.” Levi said, not looking at Eren. Eren sank into his seat and tried not to cry any more as they drove. 

\--

Seated on the couch with a large gap between himself and Levi, Eren tried to stop the erratic thumping in his chest. 

“Why?” Levi said, sounding cold but calculated. Eren knew if he looked up he would see the blank stare Levi used to hide how he really felt. He didn’t dare try to look into those grey eyes. 

“I- I had to. I didn’t want to but-”

“But what, Eren.”

“You wouldn’t have taken the job. You would have given up your dreams just for me, a stupid kid who didn’t deserve you.” Eren’s voice was shaking and he watched a few tears drip into his lap. “I never wanted to leave. It hurt so much. But I knew I could never forgive myself if you gave up what you wanted just to do what would be easier for me. I let you down. No matter what I chose I would have felt that way. Either I stayed and watched you throw away your dream or I left and broke your heart - and mine. I let you down and I know you won’t ever forgive me. I know I don’t even deserve the chance to apologize but-”

“Jesus, kid.” Eren finally looked up from the hands fiddling in his lap to meet Levi’s eyes. Kid, that nickname caused a mixture of warmth and pain to bloom in his chest. “Over the last three years, I thought about why you left. I wondered what I did wrong. I wondered what I wasn’t giving you. I had a feeling that was why but I refused to believe it.” Levi’s eyes softened a bit as he spoke. The barrier was slowly crumbling. 

“I’m sorry Levi. I let you down. I fucked up. I know I keep rambling but - I’ve spent three years trying to forget how much I hurt you but I couldn’t. I spent so long beating myself up because it’s what I deserve. I understand if you can’t forgive me. I never expected to bump into you. But after I did, I couldn’t stop thinking of you. I kept thinking over everything that happened. My heart shattered into a million pieces that night I ran out.” Eren was frantic, pulling at his hair and almost rocking back and forth on the couch. He was so anxious in Levi’s apartment. He felt like he was in a dream, but he wasn’t allowed to be there. He realised he was breathing really fast and he tried to slow it down but he only grew more stressed. He wanted to get out. 

His train of thought stopped abruptly when Levi grabbed his wrists and pried them away. He held Eren’s arms between them, staring into his eyes. “Please, baby. Please stop beating yourself up so much. I understand why you did what you did. It hurt and I hate to say it but you were right.” He pulled one of Eren’s wrists to his lips and pressed a quick kiss to it. Eren’s breath hitched in his throat as his breathing slowed a bit. 

“Did you j-just… call me … b-baby?” he stuttered. He felt relief wash over him at Levi’s words but deep in his stomach he felt like this wasn’t real. 

“Yes, Eren. I did. I missed you so much. When I saw you the other day I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I always felt like there was more to why you left than I knew. You know I’m not one to waste time on the bullshit - I want to try again. I want to forgive you.” 

“But I-I don’t.. I don’t think I deserve-” Eren was babbling and crying and shaking. He felt like he might throw up. He was happy but so, so scared. 

“You deserve the world, Eren.” Levi said firmly. 

“I j-just don’t want to h-hurt-” Eren was starting to feel dizzy and his chest was clenching. 

\--

His eyes opened slowly. He blinked, looking around the dimly lit bedroom. He froze when he saw Levi’s duvet on top of him. He recognised the same one from three years back. 

“How are you feeling?” Levi’s voice pulled Eren’s focus to the man sitting next to him, leaning against the headboard, book in hand. 

“I didn’t mean to…. What happened?” Eren felt bad causing a scene. He never meant to worry Levi or burden him. 

“You passed out. I think it was hyperventilating. Is this a new thing?” Levi said, only glancing over from his book to ask the question. 

“No, well- kind of. I mean I didn’t used to be this way but after I left I started worrying more and I guess I didn’t realize I had let my mind go until now.” 

“What are you worried about right now?” Levi asked after placing the book on the bedside table. He reached down and brushed a hair from Eren’s forehead. Levi’s hand lingered for a moment. 

“Letting you down again.” Eren whispered, eyes falling away from Levi’s face. 

“Baby, please. I finally have you back again, nothing you do could drive me away. I have waited so long to find someone, anyone who could make me feel the way you do. There is nobody like you, Eren. You’re it for me.” Levi said, eyes finally shining like they used to. Eren could tel Levi was being honest. 

Eren just smiled as tears fell again. He let Levi pull him onto his lap and hold him close. 

“Levi?” Eren said quietly. 

“Hmm”

“Can you call me….”

“Chaton?” Levi let a small smirk dash across his lips. Kitten. In French. It used to both make Eren melt and rile him up. It was endearing to Levi, a cute pet name for the cutest man he had ever laid eyes on. 

“Y-yeah.” Eren squeaked out. He smiled meekly and nuzzled further into Levi. 

After a moment Levi was about to say something when he heard soft snores coming from Eren. Warmth bloomed in his chest as he looked down at that adorable sleeping face. Eren’s eyelashes rested against his soft cheeks, mouth slightly parted as small slow breaths came and went. 

Levi carefully moved Eren over and tucked him into bed. He watched him for a moment, thinking about how much he yearned for this the past three years. But that was back then. This was now. Levi wanted to move forward, now that they were both progressing in their careers and happy where they were in life, they could fully focus on each other. At least that’s what Levi intended to do. 

He was ready to spoil his little chaton rotten. He had lost him once and he decided he was never letting Eren go again. He turned off the lamp and snuggled closer to Eren, pulling him to his chest. He breathed in slow and deep, nuzzling his head in Eren’s hair. Eren stirred slightly, mumbling before falling silent again. Levi smiled to himself. He kissed the top of Eren’s head and whispered “Welcome home, baby.” 

That night Levi slept better than he had in years- three to be exact.


End file.
